Playing and walking; a childhood memory

I spent the first 1/3 of my life growing up in the gated Bangladesh Atomic Energy Commission residential area. With three parks, abundant gardens, palm trees and swing sets spread out throughout the complex, the whole area was a child's playground.

Playtime used to be from around 4pm to sun down. I was a slow-eater. Let me rephrase that. I was an extremely slow eater! I used to put food in my mouth, and keep it there. My mother would sit by me for hours, and keep telling me to chew. So when my friends came by to call me around 4pm, my mother would tell them that I was still eating! I don't exactly remember how the episode ended; whether my mother managed to convince me to eat or she gave up, and I was happy to run out to play with my friends. But I do remember that playing outside was my favorite time of the day.

We used to play so many different games. There was 'shaat chara'; the objective of which was to break the tower of 7 stacked stones with a ball. Once the ball was thrown at the target, the opposing team tried getting the ball, and hit you with it. If you were hit, then you were out. If you broke the tower completely, then you got the point. We used to play it in the park that was in the center of the residential area. And I don't think any of us ever broke anyone's windows while throwing the ball. Although there may have been times when the ball landed in someone's balcony, everyone was friendly and didn't seem to mind the occasional intrusion.

Then there were other games like 'kana machi', 'dariya bandha', something similar to hopscotch and hide and seek, and other ones which I don't remember the names of. I remember the parks being so huge that I felt it took me a long time to cross from one side to the other. The lanes were wide and I remember playing 'dariya bandha' there. We made squares on the floor and each player had to cross through to the next square, passing the opposing team member who guarded the borderline of the squares. If the guard touched you, then you were out. Sounds simple enough, but it was a lot of fun.

I used to be one of the youngest members of the group who played together. Apart from one, everyone else used to be older than me. So I didn't have much say as to what game should be played on a particular day, although I definitely wasn't shy to give my opinion. I guess once we started playing, I was so happy that I didn't mind what game we had chosen. As long as we were running around, competing and having fun, that's all that mattered.

However, after a few years, things started changing. My older friends, who were entering into their adolescence, slowly started showing less interest in playing, and more interest in walking and talking about 'stuff'. I remember being so frustrated at their newfound interest in talking for hours! What was there to talk about so much? I had no clue. Walking was for after dinner with my parents. We were losing precious play time by doing what we could with our parents later! But being in the minority, and not having many younger people to play with, I would walk alongside them. It was the most boring time not really understanding most of what they were talking about. I also got a feeling that there were uncomfortable silences when I joined in walking with them. Also, the big group we had started separating into smaller groups, and I felt even more lost as to which group to join. So I changed groups now and then, hoping that they might be convinced to spend more time playing than talking. I pretended to listen to them while my mind would be wandering off to how I could convince them to play. But most of the time I was unsuccessful in convincing them otherwise. To me, they seem to be getting meaner by the day! I left for Vienna at around that time, so I was never old enough to understand the topics of their conversation.

I think it was towards the later part of my adolescent years, when it hit me that I enjoyed talking with my friends more than playing a game. Suddenly, I understood why my older friends back in Dhaka would rather do the walking and talking than the games. And it seemed that in a strange way I reconnected with them and their perspective, which I had such a difficult time understanding back then. I really got them and let go of the displeasure which I had attached to those memories of my final days in that community. I appreciated them tolerating a kid walking with them when they had so much 'private' things to talk about. And of course 'privacy' is one of the key words of adolescence. I guess having lived in their world made me more empathetic towards my younger friends in Vienna. Memories of my childhood friends, even the walking part became sweeter :).